Archives for posts with tag: calgary

I get two responses when people realize I’m nearly obsessed with boxing. Either I am an undercover psycho with a lot of anger issues, or, they laugh. Dee? Hitting heavy bags? They laugh, literally.

The first time I spent with a trainer on pads, he would stop often and say, “Dee stop smiling. It’s creepy.” I’d laugh and then realize he was serious, so I’d press my lips together as best as I could and focus on that jab-jab-cross again, even though everything in me said, “you suck at this.”

I started boxing near the end of last year after writing a profile on the ringleader of a new studio in town, and became nearly obsessive immediately. I couldn’t put a finger on it, but I was in love with boxing. Since then however, I’ve learned a lot about myself and the reason I box. Mostly, it turns out I’m a lover and a fighter, but let me explain.

At first it was to help me win a bet. Cousin Jordan and I had a bet going on to help us get back into the gym, but after that was done (and I won), I wasn’t about to leave that little studio. I had realized it wasn’t about getting sweet abs, though that would be cool. And it certainly wasn’t to work out my silent anger issues.

It was about me – just, me. While some people might think that’s a little self-indulgent, let me share with you the real reasons I’m obsessed. Hopefully by the end of this, you’ll find your own form of boxing.

FOCUS ON THAT BREATHING//

The first thing you learn in boxing is your stance and how to throw a punch properly. The next thing you learn is that you have no idea how to breathe, and, you might die. During a high intensity class, the only thing you hear is music and the trainer, who is often saying “focus on that breathing, in the nose, out the mouth …” I’m not kidding you, this lesson has followed me in my life. As soon as life starts feeling a little ‘high intensity’, you’ll find me reminding myself to focus on that breathing.

DEFINING THE OPPONENT//

Most people ask me who I picture when I’m smashing punches on the bag. And honestly, my answer is, “Negative Dee.” I could focus on everything and everyone else around me, but I actually end up losing focus, and lose sight of the real opponent. So, when I’m smashing that bag, I’m thinking about who I am, and what I’m capable of. When fear, doubt, insecurity, absentmindedness, or inability whispers to me during class, I remind myself of who I am. Boxing is a mental sport as much as it is physical, and I think life is pretty similar. Whenever I’m tempted to start thinking about external things or people to blame, I can see myself fighting the negativity inside of me instead.

RISING ABOVE//

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say doubt and insecurity so easily make their way into our life on a daily basis. It’s annoying. But for 50 minutes a day, I don’t have time to give to those thoughts, because I’ve got another five seconds to work out a few more combos. It’s a lot like every day, you know? I’ve got this option every single time I am faced with doubt or insecurity to give it the time of day, or, I could crush some goals instead. And every time I chose it, I learn to fight for me.

A lot of my life is focused on other people, which I really love. Between full time school and a handful of part-time jobs, my life gets busy. But for 50 minutes a day I get to focus on me, which I believe is necessary to be able to focus on other people well.

After coffee with a pastor I adore, he reminded me boxing can be my source of rest, if I wanted. It made me think about how I view myself, and what is important to me because ‘rest’ has never sounded optimal to me. I realized through this that oftentimes, I am not important to myself. Much like me laughing and smiling without the ability to focus during my early days boxing, I didn’t have confidence in just me. But now you’ll find me sweaty in the corner of a studio focusing on me. Breathing, letting go, learning, sometimes even smiling or laughing, and being me – just me.

(And of course, it feels pretty good to hit shit sometimes.)

Honestly, I hope you can find your form of boxing – whatever makes you passionate, thoughtful, and cognizant of you – just you.

I was fresh at university, nineteen years old, when I had to get a surgery. It’s a weird surgery my mom is convinced is for those who hang out on their computers too long, called a Ganglionectomy. Basically they removed a cyst from my wrist that was making my fingers move on their own in a painful kind of way. Anyhow, not the point.

So I had this surgery, and then, everything sucked.

At the same time of this surgery, I was dating this guy I’d say was my first real boyfriend. He was obviously handsome, and hilarious. But I had this surgery and after puking up all the anesthetic, I got a call from him on my navy blue Nokia cell phone.

“I can’t see you anymore. You’re marriage material and I can’t do that right now,” he said. Read the rest of this entry »

The rain had paused long enough for her to run down the street. The sidewalk was painted by the faded orange street lamps, and we were just supposed to drive by, continue on, keep going.

Of course I couldn’t. She was obviously crying, so I pull around the block and park. “I’m just going to see if she’s alright,” I say to my coworker in my passenger seat.

I hate wearing shoes. Even flip flops, I just want bare feet. I’m sure I should be concerned about glass or nails or something else that could harm me. But tonight, I’m just not.

I open my car door, bare feet onto the rain-soaked pavement and run towards her. She’s half running, half distraught, but she turns and stops when I ask if she’s alright.

I don’t really mind that we’re in the middle of the road, that we may be in someone’s way. I don’t mind, the girl just needed a quick reminder; nothing gets in the way of love.

Read the rest of this entry »

THROUGH WATERS UNCHARTED MY SOUL WILL EMBARK

I’LL FOLLOW YOUR VOICE STRAIGHT INTO THE DARK

CAPTAIN, HILLSONG UNITED

I didn’t think twice after eating an entire box of Raspberry Pop-Tarts, a Canadian Maple donut and a regular sized Ice Capp while I bawled singing the lyrics of this song Captain by Hillsong United. Within twenty minutes my stomach held an entire bag of granulated sugar, but this wasn’t unusual. Not at this point.

I don’t think Jesus ever suffered from eating his feelings, but I know he struggled being in His own town. I’ve been struggling being in my own town since my last adventure, hence the Pop-Tarts. Every adventure I go on, I feel like God’s called me to be a light where there is some darkness. Where people don’t believe in themselves, haven’t heard how amazing they are, or could use a simple act of kindness. If I’m honest though I’d let you know: being me anywhere other than my city is easy. And God didn’t call me into ‘easy’. He called me to follow His voice, straight into the dark.

I think when you came home from adventures abroad, you’d been struggling too. Jesus can relate to us, but we’ve got to learn a fundamental difference between Him and us. Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t know if you’ve heard the truth or not about porn yet, but here’s your chance. Learn a little and set yourself and others up for freedom would ya?

Here’s the thing about busts like the following; they are just exciting for a girl hopeful of justice and freedom. Hopeful of justice and freedom for all people, held in bondage of all kinds. And I’m praying for those 10 suspects arrested between 22 and 65 years of age just as much as I’m praying for those children abused in this case. I’m thankful for those giving of their time, gifts and talents in the operation of this sting too. More so, I’m praising the God who always, always, always brings darkness to light for the hope and life of those whom he loves. And rumor has it, He loves us all. Perhaps porn stings… but seeing the light sets us up to find what truly makes us free. Here’s to hope.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/child-porn-sting-nets-10-arrests-in-southern-alberta-1.2605481

““Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.” Martin Luther King JR.
Martin Luther King Jr.