Girls are incredible. I love us. We’re amazing. We’re funny, beautiful, smart, sassy, and world changers.

Here’s something I think we need to check out though because there’s girls of two kinds in the world, and someone’s got to recognize the powerful mix in the whole thing.

There’s the ones who say nasty things about each other. The ones who ditch on the fly, or don’t bother to check in on a friend before making judgements about them as a whole. The ones who step on each other, or the ones who step around each other. It’s ridiculous. Without having to check in, I can see visions of you reading this shaking your head. You know.

Then there’s the girls who are considerate of each other- who genuinely think of others before they get selfish. Before making judgement calls, they think about what may be going on in another person’s life. Let me give you an example.

I lived in a place where the landlord had previously gone through a nasty divorce after her ex couldn’t stop sleeping with other girls. By the time I was living in her suite, she was happily remarried. And… still working through some fears from her past. Though I was literally just starting my own journey through a divorce of the same nature, she began to include me in her fears. The situation got pretty sad, and I was hurt. I was humiliated, even though her situation had nothing to do with me. Instead of looking at the whole picture, I resented her for misplacing her fears on my shoulders rather than talk it out with her hubby. While I’m still confident the fear was misplaced, and a conversation should’ve happened within her marriage, the point here is that I wasn’t a good friend. She was just scared, working through some fears, and doing what she thought she could to conquer them. Before getting upset with her, I needed to just think of my friend.

I didn’t think about her before I made some judgement calls about her and her life. It’s awful that we treat each other so poorly, just to save face. But I know who I am, so my first response should not have been about me; it should have been in support of her.

This is what we need to realize. There is no difference between a judgemental girl, or a caring girl because (wait for it) we are all BOTH of those girls. We aren’t made in extremes. We aren’t good, or bad. We are complex, made of flesh and looking for heaven inside our bones. We are genuine and sassy. We are caring and selfish. It’s a powerful mix, and before we get to hampering each other, let’s first remember we’re part of this crazy combo too.

I’ve gone as far as to tell girls I think they should stop being friends. I’ve even stepped away from friendships because this powerful mix has become of the deadly sort. Not because one is bad and they other is good, but because someone (or both) haven’t figured out how much power we have to be a blessing, or a curse. Even worse, we don’t recognize the power to be both! It’s something we need to humble ourselves to admit or, we’re going to end up in a world full of deadly friendships, and I remember us being called to show each other life.

So, be kind. You have power over friendships that require wisdom and humility. They need discernment, not judgement; consideration, not selfishness. Girls, we need each other for the good and in the bad. We are incredible. I love us. We’re amazing, beautiful, smart, sassy, and world changers. Let’s first start seeing each other as that.

Praise and curses come from the same mouth. My brothers and sisters, this should not happen! -James 3.10