IMG_1773There was a sweet whimper like I’d never heard before from that little frame… and perhaps have only heard twice since that night. The night you came soft and slow into that make-shift room of a little Spanish home. And you’d crawl into my little foam bed and whisper like cracks in a wall “why does it need to hurt like this”. My heart stopped or quickened and in either case I wrapped you tight like I’m sure you needed more often than you’d received and we lay there quiet between silky sobs.

And I knew right then. Like a vision of wild curls and fierce love, you’d stand up top of a green little hill like it were Everest. And for you, that’s what it’d become. You’d stand up there tall as 4’-11” could let you and you’d breathe deep and I’d see it all come crashing down like waves of heat in a snow white storm as you belt from the top of your lungs and no one would even hear the sound. The sound of freedom, the sound of overcoming. You’d take this world by storm. And you’d live like you didn’t have time to fear those cards the enemy held to play you with. Stood there confident like toes digging deep in the earth, like a tree’s roots digging deep to an earth’s core, like a weak child in her Savior’s arms. Stood there tall while you let all those walls come crashing down like silky sobs, and I knew.

Because you’d let me in just enough that those doors of fear and built up walls would come crashing right down as you stay vulnerable for a moment. And then followed by another decade and a half you’d stay right there, even if just with me and I knew. Like mirrors of glass I’d always look and see you. You could always look back and see me. Like two peas of a pod and like mates of the soul, and I just knew.

I knew I were here and you right there, for such a time as this. When friend needed friend and whirls of wind couldn’t change our fate, and I knew. I knew through thick and thin, through bottles of wine and whole pans of pies. Mirror-image drama and life with crazy beautiful mama’s, light up those dark nights with the simple message of love on those cell phones… ya, I knew.

And see it could have been all those slurpee dates, your saving me from sleeping while drinking, dirty jokes, breaking boys hearts or bones so I wouldn’t have to. It sure could have been those silly sleepovers, zoo trips, girls trips or even getting through all your really bad driving and gross dirty jokes. All those stupid nights at the clubs and incredible days breathing in mountain air. Mix it all up with musical performances of RENT in Ol’ Bertha {Rest In Peace} and I could dream for days of all those better days. And see maybe it really was all those things. But maybe it’s more than situations or even things. Maybe we get to be us because friend, you’re such a beautiful you.

I just knew. Even through all those things we needed to get through, I knew you’re sweet sobs and your standing there strong would always be the woman you’d dreamed you’d become. I just knew one day you’d get up, long after a dark night with sweet little sobs and you would see all that I already knew.

Friend, you are the vision of wild curls and fierce love, unafraid to scale the walls of what your enemy planned to only continue to build upon. You’d scale those walls only to break ‘em loose and tare every single rumor of what you’d fear you’d become into crumbles {and all from tiny tears on the run}. You are light and you are beauty, leading anyone who sees it back to your originator, friend I just knew. Your roots grow deep like an old oak tree, rich, wise, lovely, weathered and strong. Friend, I just knew one day you’d really see you for you, and today I’m so honored to celebrate it with you. Here’s to the happiest 30th Old Girl… I love you.