trustworthyWhile this happens a lot, that shot of thunder never gets old running through these ribs and deeper into my soul. You know that feeling? When someone says just one little sentence and a rush of lightening flits strong and quick through your spine? You know that feeling.

Well. It happened once more and I’d like to know I’d be alright to accept conviction strong as a storm on a silent summer night. Because I’m realizing it’s not just seeing those outrageous moments. It’s not even feeling or accepting the rush of those bolts of thunder, of lightening. Oh, it’s so much more.

Because once you’re struck you must sit. You must recognize what’s happened. You must, because if you do not, it’ll become that fleeting moment that could’ve been a life changer. A world changer.

I sat still without breath but full of life. Blood rushing through my skin, my bones, my flesh, my veins. Finally I surrender to the conviction of Christ.

“You’re going to go through struggle. It’ll happen if you’re a back pew dweller or Near Saintly. You’re going to venture through- and God wants to know He can trust you.”

We have purpose and He needs to know He can trust us.

That’ll get you if, like me, you get so caught up in your relationship with Christ rather than the relationship between Christ and yourself.

I’d always find myself wondering if I could trust Him. I’d wondered if I could trust the Living God who created me for life abundant. I would need to confess in all honesty I’d rarely considered whether He could trust me.

Could He trust me with His beautiful children, young and old? Could He trust me, through the storms to do well enough to BE me for His Glory? To sit down, recognize His face and without resolve or answers choose to glorify Him in all I am? To accept the conviction, breathe it deep into my being, turn around and share this new life with others?

Because He desires to know through the seasons which are good and great down to the ugly and bad, He could trust me. He could trust me not just to take in the struggle, but to turn around in faith and give in and outside the pain too.

I’d realized while I sat there after the conviction, that He wants to know tough circumstance & the struggles of life wouldn’t defeat, warp or crush my character.

And so I lift my spine up tall and to its feet. Open these fingers wide and outstretched. Let go of all that might try to hold these hands down and choose to praise Him. Because even the storms are used to convict, challenge, create, and demonstrate His greatness. His power and His incredible obsession with us; His Lost and Found Boys and Girls.

When I search and find Him in all things {and He is most certainly always there}, I find reason again to trust. Reason excluding fleeting feelings or incredible momentary, spiritual bliss. When I choose to trust Him through the good and the ugly He will begin to see my character trumps circumstance. And without any merit of my own, He could trust me too.