The false confidence (arrogance, pride, the hiding of insecurities rather than erradication of them) that so aches peoples bones should learn to rest alone as your bones stand firm in true confidence (understanding your adoption and worth in Christ) given by the grace of His throne. This isn’t self-righteousness, and I refuse to life with false humility any more. So many sit downcast… I sat and still choose to sit downcast some days. I went to Seattle last spring and found a new heart. With new, dear friends by my side we prayed the devil out and His Holy, Pure Spirit in. And when I made my way home I left with many a gift; some would include my now tattered copy of Jewels of Wisdom by Marilyn Gray & a recommendation to read Supernatural Ways of Royalty, by Kris Valloton. With these and some que cards sitting ready in my wallet, I would learn I was called to, and made for royalty.

I don’t know about your story, but mine includes a whole lot of unknown identity, worthlessness by the actions of others, as much as the response of myself. Let’s not even begin with childhood. I’d never understood marriage; my mother was abused and would divorce twice before living in fear and resentment towards men. I would go on into my adult life choosing the very things I thought would help, only to realize if I don’t know my worth in Christ, I certainly cannot choose well in life. I’d eventually chosen a love in which neither of us were prepared. And instead of knowing how worthy I, and he were of a confident identity in Christ and Christ alone, we listened to the voices of the world. The voices that never connect or reconciile one to their worth, but rather break and tear apart. Can you relate? I’m certain we’re on the same page.

I chose what I thought was love, only to encounter a God who’s true love would sweep me away from the worlds’ definition, and place me firmly on my feet.

He called me to something greater. He called him, and you and them to something greater. Something of royal worth. That in itself is enough to burn up my heart and put me right back on my knees in awe, and humility.. why me!? How us!? But He died and rose that I might know, He created me for honor, respect, true love. This, right here and right now, is a growing melody of an identity I’m trying to hold tightly as my mine. This is the voice of the quieted, humbled, and healed. The voice of health and restoration of what was intended for me; for you and I. Sometimes I think I’m proud while I say this, but I realize quite quickly we are all (male and female alike) worthy of this beautiful, unshakable love.

Dear Love

I am not an option. I am not even a choice. I’m not even number one, heaven forbade number two. Heaven forbade number systems at all.

I am the one.

I am the only.

I am a must. No one else would do.

I am a made for excellence and God, and I will settle for a love of nothing less. Because when Jesus married the church,  His bride, He didn’t have a plan B. He didn’t want one. He could not even dream of another, would not accept anything less. He locked eyes, chased her in filth and dream. Brought Himself to death and back to prove there wasn’t another, there couldn’t even be. There wasn’t even an option for Him, and His sacrificial love.

Oh, and that’s the love. That’s the love I will accept, the only I’ll receive. When our eyes lock down, the rest of the world, he would never even see. I am not an option. I’m not even number one.