I’m staring out my window wondering what is happening. I have googled everything I can including Robin’s, laying eggs, moving nests, and how to console the poor girl. Over a week ago I wrote about how a bird had taken up residence on the pillar directly beside my front door. She hasn’t left.

I can’t begin to tell you the fear I have of birds… they are wild, unpredictable, beady-eyed little beasts that I’m unsure anyone should even trust.

I truly would have done my best to accept this little lady as my backyard buddy until I heard they get super protective. And then I got super protective of the two little gentlemen who play in my backyard daily. She had to relocate. As you’ll recall in the first part of this story, we accidentally spilled her nest, finding eggs just as ruined as our hearts…

But then there was a hope! She continued to hang out, and after too much curiosity, I found two more eggs just sitting on the pillars ledge! Redemption eggs! I disregarded my ill feelings towards birds and made thoughtful plans to get these eggs into the nest- a much safer option, I was sure. But by the time I went in, the eggs weren’t there anymore. My poor heart… this poor mama. I decided to give her time to mourn, and she’d just move on. That’s what all the articles and advice said anyhow.

Well, she’s still there. Just sitting there all puffed up in tragedy and sadness, living in the trauma of her past. I knew she needed to just move forward at this point. So I put some extra cement up there and blocked her stay. Except, she will not leave. She keeps looking around and trying to fly back where she cannot go.

And though I know all I can do is wait patiently for this young bird to realize it, her story reminds me of the days I laid waste sitting in yesterday’s sorrow, trauma, and unforgiveness. And it reminds me of the Israelites and their longing for Egypt… the very place of their suffering and captivity. And it reminds me of the countless people I’ve met who carry bags and bags of past hurts, sorrows and experiences as though it were necessary to carry for life. As though it were life. Because though we know what we choose to live in isn’t entirely life, it is comforting, comfortable, and easier to handle than the newness God may bring, and the thing or people we may need to leave there in the past.

And somehow we all fail to see at one point or another the only thing we receive from carrying that which is meant to be left for dead is death in and of itself.

I think like that Robin, we are all meant to have a time of mourning, loss, and sorrow. We are meant to feel the depths of life, not just walk right through it like it never mattered anyhow. For the past seven months I’ve mourned the loss of something and someone sacred to my heart. Mourning is good for the soul. Sadness grieves what is necessary, washing clean your slate for a new tomorrow.

And then, when the mourning has finished, it is time to forgive others, ask God’s forgiveness, and forgive yourself… find new light. It is time to drop your regrets, your losses, you sorrows and goodbyes. Time to leave them at the foot of the cross or the lap of God your father and live this brand new day pure, free, forgiven, filled with the Spirit and life. Release so you too can be released. Redeemed.

It’s not easy to let go, to let God, and to live in the freedom He patiently pursues by your side. Freedom is a journey; it’s a walk from daybreak through the nights light. And the more we choose to walk in freedom rather than yesterday’s regrets, the more freedom He pours out; the more land He gives.The Israelites couldn’t take the ‘unknowns’ of their freedom and pegged it as ‘uncertainty’ as though the two were somehow related at all when it comes to the promises of God. They literally led themselves right back to the arms of captivity.They looked at the pictures of Egypt and longed for the certainty of captivity rather than the certain freedom offered by Christ.

I told my friends, God, and Myself I’d get out of the proverbial casket I was ‘living’ in, and that I’d kick the dirt back in so there weren’t room for me in there anymore. I have. And I will continue from daybreak to nights’ light for I know whom my God is, and that in His promises alone I can rest secure.

This bird will also fly to her freedom soon though she currently keeps wandering back to her past unsure. Because it’s a process, a journey.

And then there is you. Captivity & comfort of the certainties of your past; or the unknowns of God’s certain love and freedom if you’ll step out? What have you been choosing? Come on now friend, it could be your new day.

{here is what I’ve learned… the facts that experiences have brought to your life are not God’s truth of who you are}